As often as I can remmember myself, I had a specific idea of friendship.
I always seemed to have attached this word with the idea of loyalty trust and support
towards those you call friends.
As I grew up, like most people I know, I did taste the ungreatfullness
of people I considered friends realising that laughts and shared experiences with
people were not as meaningful to others as for me.
Adolescence was the first time in my life that I realised that I seemed to use
the word friend with a certain weight, one which not many people shared with me.
I realised how lightly people use the word
friend, something which I must admit 2 decades later, still surprises me on how
easily people call others friends and how low those friends are in their priorities.
I have to say although I have experienced personally as well as have heard from others stories of betrayal amongst friends I still somehow feel gobsmacked when history repeates itself and come across such a situation again.
Seems like we never learn or is it just that there is always that little ray of hope burried deep inside a little dark corner of our minds?
I remember saying to myself and hearing many people express the same thought how nice it would be to have friends or group of friends like the tv series
'friends'. To be honest if such a group exists it is quite rare in my view. I always thought it is non existent and that is what made it so desirable-like a great love story it was something unrealistic or lets not be so pessimistic something really hard to find with limited chances.
Ofcourse not talking of extreme though not so uncommon cases of best friends hooking up with friends boyfriends this thanksully I have not lived to see yet.
What came an inspiration for this post was thought on loneliness initially after experiencing a few bad and stressful weeks because of work and stuff. I then decided that I need to have more fun or do things for myself just so I can balance out my daily routine and not have days full of work and running around but also do things for myself which I enjoy or maybe go out more often, something which I rarelly do these past months.
So I after thinking of what sort of things I liked and of course what my finances allow, I decided not only start going to the gym but also do something fun over the weekends like going out with friends more often.
I was never the kind of person who believed in having lots of friends - I was always a supporter of having few but good friends instead of lots of people to hang out with but not really close.
Even so, over the years people tend to be separated by distances. Even so I must admit in emergencies I always had a few people to turn to for help.
So anyway, after thinking of what to do in order to balance out all this work and stress and spending time going out seemed a really good option, I realised something disturbing. I realised how I spend my days in the past few months and how often my phone rang.
Needless to say my phone is not the busiest. I also realised that any attempts I made to go out where unsuccesfull in the past few months-then realising it was not just the past few months-
because time seemed to be something that people value way too much give it to you.
This is what made me realise peoples need for social media- I finally got how it may feel to experience loneliness in such a level that they are in need of interacting even if that means behind a screen at home with people they don't know. Something I never cares for- I prefer face to face interactions out in the real world.
Someone once said to me something when I was 17 which I didn't realise at that time but getting older it makes more sense with time. He had told me that when you are low or in need of help, even a person you don't know might help you. If you fall in the street a paserby might even stop to help you up, but there are only few that will trully be there and genuinely happy for you with your happiness and success.
This has made me think that we always say that true friends show in a time of need but for me I don't think that it is as simple as that. For me it is more that that like being part of your everyday life, being happy for you trying to support you and more importantly not make you feel like you are begging for their time.
Im not sure if this loss of true friendship is a characteristic of this age where people have become so self involved in their problems they don't have any space for their friends problems or if it is just something that existed and now because of hard times it just showed.
It seems that the word friend or friendship is a term which is used looselly and easilly taken back.
I always had a picture in mind that a friend is someone you value as a brother or sister you have chosen to have in your life. A friend being someone who will not just run to see you in the hospital after an accident but will want to see how your day went and does not forget you.
A friend for me is someone who does not judge you but does kick you in the arse when you need a good old kicking.
A friend for me is not someone who will forget you as soon as they find a new partner or other friends cause true friendship means you have earned a place in another persons life and vice versa that is why trust and loyalty to me go with friendship.
When I think of such issues a verse comes to my mind:
'I lost the trust in my friends, I watched my heart tirn to stone,
I thought I was left to walk this wicked world alone'......
A friend for me is not someone there when you are just low but also when you feel on top of the world, because when we feel happy we want our loved ones with use there too. Not just when we are faced with disasters.
A friend for me, is not soemone you will call when feeling bad but someone who will call you when they know you feel bad.
picture source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/571957221397752902/
