Vampires

This isn't much of a jolly post - nothing 'Christmassy'!

But it is something I have been giving a lot of thought in the past few months from stuff  that has been happening around me, stories I have heard from friends and past experiences.

Vampires for me are something very different to the 'creatures of the night' the so called 'faithful' call and arre scared of. For me vampires is something alot scarier than that, people you interact with everyday:your boss, co-workers, in laws and so on and are well disguised with the best intentions.
I have recently found that friends or rather so-called friends can be vampires to.

Now how can vampires be associated to people?
Well for starters I don't think all individuals are human.
Secondly, some people suck the energy out of you like vampired feast on blood.  It might not be as grotesque or at least not visibly but it is worse because you don't realise it is happening!

I have in the past encounterest people who I didn't realise till too late they
would be jealous of a success or relationship I may have had at the time or even
could not even stand the thought that you were happy and they could not feel
any joy in their lide (regardless of the fact you had nothing to do with their misserable little life).

Mother in law Vampire!

Mothers in law are a classic. To be fair there are some super dooper mothers in laws you feel so lucky to have but then...... there are the other oness. The 'I want to make you so miserable cause you took my son away from me- you good for nothing whore' ones.Im sure not only married women can relate but also poor ex girlfriends.
This woman for some reason is ever so nice to everyone else- a little fuckin' angel that makes it impossible for you to complain about because you will come off as the bad one!

Now the boss Vampire.
The assohole who for some reason is always a man or woman -doesn't really matter which - isn't getting any at home and will make sure you don't either by taking out all your fucking energy, making you work overtime and ensure you get home nakerd.
The boss-vampire is the kind that will make you regret being there, ruin your enthusiasm for work and will make your imagination run to dark places of the things you want to do to him/her and the pain you want to inflict upon them.
The boss vampire is the type that will suck out all your positive energy and will for work and creativity and will make you look repeatedly at your watch till its time to mentally stick up your middle finger to him and leave for home.
Ofcourse if you are in a freelance area of work this goes for the people that hire you! Don't for a second think you will enter a arse-hole free zone - ahahhahha!

The friend vampire!
The friend vampire is for me different types of people. There is always the one that you don't realise is an actual frenemy and not really your friend. The type that is gealous of your success and trying to constantly put your enthusiasm down with the sole purpose of making you feel as miserable as them. These people feed off your misery, unhappiness, misfortune. Like the vampire gets energy from blood, the frenemy gets that from sucking out every little bit of positive energy. The person who will not let you get a taste of your success, excitement for your new job or when you meet the love of your life. These people feel true happiness and bliss to see you in misery and sadness but will appear ever so supportive to make sure you never are happy!
This is the same with relatives as well! Constantly making you the black sheep of the faamily and questioning your dress style, your new boyfriend, lifestyle choices etc.


The second category are actual friends, well intentioned and faithful.
Thes poor arseholes are anything but frenemies, will be there when you need them and are genuily happy with your successes.
BUT!!!! Sometimes they can suck out so much energy from you that you wouldn't believe. Now you might wonder - how can this be possible for such people?
I'll tell you right now and Im sure you will relate at some point!
There is the friend that is always depressed (commonly not for any particular or serious reason eg: starvation, health problems etc). The person you have known and since day one have never heard them say they are doing ok, they are well etc.
The fucking person who is always, with no frikin excepetion 'I have been better' I often get the urge to replie: 'really? when? cause I have never heard you being better'. 
Now I don't know for you but for me, this kills my buzz....


There is the friend that always asks for your opinion, you are happy to help, you always find some really good advice, put thought in it and give all your energy to do so and then they never take it, still do what they would initially do regardless of asking you and they do this repeatedly! Now Im not suggesting the person should do what you say but I'm saying whats the point of asking me if you never will take my advice and do this every fucking time????
Then there is the friend which will always - but always- will start talking about his or her problems and will not let you talk at all! This could be both in terms of compaining about their life or just a person who never stops blabbering!!!

All these types I have found over the years are amongst us but we don't seem to realise the ammount of energy they sucj out of us. We usually see them as arse holes or people we have to put up with or simply having to deal with cause that's what a good daughter/ son in law or friend has to do.
Im sure you can relate to at least one of the above vampires.....

picture sources: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/372954412865811019/
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/510806782706580432/

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/450852612670423915/

Gone girl

Its been a while since last time I wrote post-especially a review!
Last night I went to see gone girl with Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike.
This was initially a novel by Gillian Flyn which came out as a film recently.


The story is about a married couple which got married being madly in love. On the morning of their 5th wedding aniverasary the wife goes missing. The film takes you through a journey listening to the wife talk of how thinks change with time, writting in her journal expressing fears that her husband might hurt her.


When she dissapears, all eyes fall on the husband and a huge search begins for Amy, the wife.


The film has a really nice story, great acting and definitely keeps you interested till the end even though it 149 minutes long.

Really really enjoyed it as it takes further than simply the dissapearance of a wife. It makes you think about relationships with family and partners.
Would m ost deffinitelly recommend it!


watch trailer:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esGn-xKFZdU
picture source:http://www.fastcocreate.com/3029156/the-trailer-for-david-finchers-gone-girl-is-a-moody-evocative-piece-of-storytelling

Guilt

Guilt......
Why? Why is it that people do things that turn out to be against their conscience?
It is interesting how we first do something on impulse or out of spite and then regret it and feel guilty, probabl, well normal people do anyway, can't sleep etc etc.

This is a very interesting post for me to writte because I have been fortunate enough to be guilt-free most
of my life! This ofcourse meant a lot of doing 'the right thing' so I avoided experiencing guilt to the minimum at least which I must say is quite a fucking waste of time. People are never happy anyway always asking more of you.

Having said that, I must say I have met lots of guilt free people - does that mean they were so ethical or nice?
NOOOOOOOO. Just arseholes. Insensitive, arogant, don't give a shit about no one else but themselves arseholes who could cause pain to others and hear them snore 5 mins later.

So I wonder. Are they lucky or just inhumane?
How many times have I asked myself how nice would it be not to care so much what other think
or say or feel but guess what?
There's a balance people-doesn't have to be one or the other.

So how do you do that? Well I treated others as I would like to be treated BUT treated 'them as they did me!
So Im nice but wont get scrued over either.

It still is though a wonder how many people are the exact opposite to the insensitive guiltless people - they are the other extreme. The ones that feel guilty for no reason most of the time and always try not to step on toes and are constantly trying to please others quite often out of insecurity as to be liked.

I know a few of those too-always asking if they said or did something that made you angry or caused you any kind of unpleasant feeling!

Balance people - the answer is balance - again, doesn't have to be one or the other cause as we know there are a lot of people who will never be happy or pleased with anything you do!

I have always found to guilt to be coming from our own morals and ethic codes. It is through our standards we see something as good or bad and the according behaviour so when we do something against what we think as good manners or behaviour we feel guilty.

I have seen this change with generations as their ethics codes change. For example my mum might feel guilty for things I wouldn't- I find what people consider as good or bad to be linked quite often to their level of guilt.
Of course this is just some food for thought!

The Grand Budapest Hotel

I must say although I was expecting a different kind of film, this did not me leave me dissapointed. It is one of those commedies offering no silly laughs - but for me a true commedy!

A funny film about the history of a luxurious hotel
in the 1930's which saw the glory up to the 2nd world war.

Appart from the familiar faces with great performances by Ralph Fines, F. Murray Abraham, Harvey Keitel.etc, the photograpdy is beautiful, taking you to the lovely locations through the story of a concierge and his trusted lobby boy who became a dear friend.

Definitely recomended to watch, something of quality with good actors, a nice comedy you will definitely enjoy watching.

picture link: http://mvfilmsociety.com/2014/02/the-grand-budapest-hotel

Friendships

As often as I can remmember myself, I had a specific idea of friendship.
I always seemed to have attached this word with the idea of loyalty trust and support
towards those you call friends.

As I grew up, like most people I know, I did taste the ungreatfullness
of people I considered friends realising that laughts and shared experiences with
people were not as meaningful to others as for me.
 Adolescence was the first time in my life that I realised that I seemed to use
the word friend with a certain weight, one which not many people shared with me.
I realised how lightly people use the word
friend, something which I must admit 2 decades later, still surprises me on how
easily people call others friends and how low those friends are in their priorities.

I have to say although I have experienced personally as well as have heard from others stories of betrayal amongst friends I still somehow feel gobsmacked when history repeates itself and come across such a situation again.
Seems like we never learn or is it just that there is always that little ray of hope burried deep inside a little dark corner of our minds?


I remember saying to myself and hearing many people express the same thought how nice it would be to have friends or group of friends like the tv series 'friends'. To be honest if such a group exists it is quite rare in my view. I always thought it is non existent and that is what made it so desirable-like a great love story it was something unrealistic or lets not be so pessimistic something really hard to find with limited chances.

Ofcourse not talking of extreme though not so uncommon cases of best friends hooking up with friends boyfriends this thanksully I have not lived to see yet.

What came an inspiration for this post was thought on loneliness initially after experiencing a few bad and stressful weeks because of work and stuff. I then decided that I need to have more fun or do things for myself just so I can balance out my daily routine and not have days full of work and running around but also do things for myself which I enjoy or maybe go out more often, something which I rarelly do these past months.

So I after thinking of what sort of things I liked and of course what my finances allow, I decided not only start going to the gym but also do something fun over the weekends like going out with friends more often.

I was never the kind of person who believed in having lots of friends - I was always a supporter of having few but good friends instead of lots of people to hang out with but not really close.
Even so, over the years people tend to be separated by distances. Even so I must admit in emergencies I always had a few people to turn to for help.
So anyway, after thinking of what to do in order to balance out all this work and stress and spending time going out seemed a really good option, I realised something disturbing. I realised how I spend my days in the past few months and how often my phone rang.

Needless to say my phone is not the busiest. I also realised that any attempts I made to go out where unsuccesfull in the past few months-then realising it was not just the past few months-
because time seemed to be something that people value way too much give it to you.
This is what made me realise peoples need for social media- I finally got how it may feel to experience loneliness in such a level that they are in need of interacting even if that means behind a screen at home with people they don't know. Something I never cares for- I prefer face to face interactions out in the real world.

Someone once said to me something when I was 17 which I didn't realise at that time but getting older it makes more sense with time. He had told me that when you are low or in need of help, even a person you don't know might help you. If you fall in the street a paserby might even stop to help you up, but there are only few that will trully be there and genuinely happy for you with your happiness and success.

This has made me think that we always say that true friends show in a time of need but for me I don't think that it is as simple as that. For me it is more that that like being part of your everyday life, being happy for you trying to support you and more importantly not make you feel like you are begging for their time.

Im not sure if this loss of true friendship is a characteristic of this age where people have become so self involved in their problems they don't have any space for their friends problems or if it is just something that existed and now because of hard times it just showed.

It seems that the word friend or friendship is a term which is used looselly and easilly taken back.
I always had a picture in mind that a friend is someone you value as a brother or sister you have chosen to have in your life. A friend being someone who will not just run to see you in the hospital after an accident but will want to see how your day went and does not forget you.
A friend for me is someone who does not judge you but does kick you in the arse when you need a good old kicking.
A friend for me is not someone who will forget you as soon as they find a new partner or other friends cause true friendship means you have earned a place in another persons life and vice versa that is why trust and loyalty to me go with friendship.
When I think of such issues a verse comes to my mind:

'I lost the trust in my friends, I watched my heart tirn to stone, 
I thought I was left to walk this wicked world alone'......


A friend for me is not someone there when you are just low but also when you feel on top of the world, because when we feel happy we want our loved ones with use there too. Not just when we are faced with disasters.

A friend for me, is not soemone you will call when feeling bad but someone who will call you when they know you feel bad.



picture source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/571957221397752902/